Power

Author's Note: This is a personal narrative. I am hoping that I was able to convey my emotions to the reader. Feedback appreciated!

"I'm going to kick your butt after school."

Immediately, a cold knot of fear formed in the pit of my stomach, echoing the chill of the cold bathroom tile and porcelain around me. Karyn, the fifth-grade class bully, and her posse of three stood before me, arms crossed, the challenge hanging, vaporous venom in the air. Abruptly, they turned on their heels and vacated, leaving me shocked and frozen by the row of heartless sinks and mirrors.

She's going to beat me up! my mind cried. No! It'll hurt! She'll hurt me! They all will! In that moment, my fear erupted into a choked panic as I envisioned myself bleeding from all facial orifices, bruised and shattered on the playground until well after dusk, abandoned to my beaten shame. I took a deep breath and forced myself back to the classroom.

As the afternoon hours melted away, my panic ebbed as well and an emotionless rationale began to take its place. I thought of how small Karyn was, easily four inches and ten pounds lighter than I was. I remembered my dad showing my sister and me how to box and our subsequent rounds of bloodied lips and bruised cheekbones that occurred on the sly when Mom was still at work. My sister was bigger than Karyn, and I could certainly hold my own against her. So maybe…Maybe there was a chance I could beat up Karyn as well, as long as her minions didn't join in.

And, hey, I could always run, right?

With each passage of the minute hand past the hour, my resolution became  even  stronger conviction. I would show up for the fight. I would hold my own. I would run if necessary. That was the plan.

A few short minutes after the final bell, I stood on the playground, a small crowd behind me. Kids were pretending, of course, to have some sort of reason for staying on school grounds: playing short games of tag or running over to the tires and back -- anything to convince possible curious adults that there was no ill intent involved. I did not partake in these activities. Rather, I stood completely still, my eye on the doors to the school, awaiting the imminent butt-kicking.

But she never showed up. None of them did.

And in that empty moment, all Karyn's power as a bully was lost.